Showing posts with label Indulgent Indulgences. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Indulgent Indulgences. Show all posts

Friday, July 19, 2013

Angeli et amici: In festo S. Mariae Magdalenae Poenitentis

In the multilingual metropolitan microcosm of the Lower East Side of youthful yore endearing expressions of enthusiasm were euphemistically engendered in "French". This boyhood recollection came to mind as one came across a press blurb (obviously written by a feverish Francophile) from Yale University Press announcing a centennial edition of literary modernist Marcel Proust's most famous and acclaimed work, À la recherche du temps perdu (or in plain English: In Search of Lost Time), which for some unfathomable reason is regarded by some, perhaps due to its languishing length, as "the greatest novel in all of French literature".

Ameliorating academic anemia is not the pious point of these meandering musings rather cultivating Catholic culture is, so therefore let us quoth from said sad scribe's scintillating spiel: "No sooner had the warm liquid mixed with the crumbs touched my palate than a shudder ran through me and I stopped, intent upon the extraordinary thing that was happening to me. An exquisite pleasure had invaded my senses, something isolated, detached, with no suggestion of its origin. And at once the vicissitudes of life had become indifferent to me, its disasters innocuous, its brevity illusory – this new sensation having had on me the effect which love has of filling me with a precious essence; or rather this essence was not in me it was me. ... Whence did it come? What did it mean? How could I seize and apprehend it? ... And suddenly the memory revealed itself. The taste was that of the little piece of madeleine which on Sunday mornings at Combray (because on those mornings I did not go out before mass), when I went to say good morning to her in her bedroom, my aunt Léonie used to give me, dipping it first in her own cup of tea or tisane. The sight of the little madeleine had recalled nothing to my mind before I tasted it. And all from my cup of tea."

The jolly genesis of the munchy madeleine is deeply disputed and an esteemed encyclopedia of Gallic gastronomy, the Larousse Gastronomique, relates two conflicting accounts of the cake’s invention. One story lays the pastry's parentage at the friendly feet of one Jean Avice, the “master of choux pastry,” who worked as a pastry chef for Prince Talleyrand. Avice is said to have ingeniously invented the madeleine in the 19th century by baking little cakes in aspic molds. Another appetizing account puts the origins of the madeleine earlier to the eighteenth century in the French town of Commercy, in the region of Lorraine, where a young servant girl named Madeleine made them for the deposed king of Poland Stanislas Leszczynska, when he was exiled to Lorraine. This started the fashion for madeleines (as they were named by the Leszczynska). They became popular in Versailles by his daughter Marie, who was married to Louis XV.

Of course, the dainty delectable is ultimately named after the famous sister of Lazarus and Martha euphemistically entitled "The Penitent". Although Jewish by birth, since she lived in the northern Galilee town of Magdala she acquired the culture and manners of a Gentile. Saint Luke innocently mentions that Our Lord expelled seven devils from Mary immediately after the said Evangelist related the Pardon of the Sinful Woman thereby unintentionally creating perhaps the most, >ahem<, colorful unofficial patronage in Catholic hagiography. Fourteen years after the Ascension, so the Legenda Aurea relates, Magdalene, her maid Sara, Lazarus, Martha, Maximin (one of the Seventy Two Disciples), and Sidonius ("the man born blind"), along with the body of Saint Anne, were sent into exile in a boat sans sails and oars. The chancy caravel miraculously and happily landed upon the shores of southern France and thus began the electric evangelization of the eldest daughter of the Church. Retreating to a cave to spend the remainder of her days in prayer and penance Mary became the primogenetrix of the contemplatives.

And since we are not privileged as she was with the mystical gift of inedia, please pass those tasty treats!

Mr. Screwtape

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Angeli et amici: In Dominica IV in Quadragesima seu Lætáre


A quiet revival undertaken during the recently concluded eight year reign of Benedict XVI was that of the beautiful bestowal of the Golden Rose, which is customarily blessed by the Roman Pontiff on Laetare Sunday, the fourth Sunday in Lent. While now generally conferred on shrines, in its most recent history it was given as a token of the Pope's esteem and paternal affection to Catholic royalty, particularly the ladies viz., princesses, queens and emperesses. Which, of course, brings us naturally to Mother's Day and no, not the one started by Anna Jarvis.
 
Mothering Sunday, the affectionate appellation arriving from the United Kingdom, developed from the late Medieval English custom of apprentices and young servants being given leave and returning home to visit one's mother church, that is the one where they were baptized, on Mid-Lent Sunday. The intriguingly illuminating Introit of the Mass provides the liturgical foundations for the obliging observance: "Rejoice, O Jerusalem, and come together, all you who love her: rejoice with joy, you who have been in sorrow: that you may exult, and be filled from the breasts of your consolation. Psalm: I rejoiced because they said to me, We will go up to the house of the Lord." Obviously since they made the journey to their hometown and with maternal imagery appearing again in the epistle read at Mass the youngesters positively paid an especial visit of gracious gratitude to their mothers in the natural order. Often the employer would provide the lad or lass with some spare shillings to provide for some fresh flowers or the classic confection forever associated with this day, also known as Refreshment Sunday, simnel cake. The fruity fare is topped generally by eleven marizpan balls representing the Apostolic College (obviously minus the Iscariot), although this accidental allegorical accretion has been decried by some as a vicious Victorian versimilitude. While its origin has been tried to be connected to pardoned prentender to the throne (because he was a then ten year pliant puppet of Yorkist rebels) and royal baker Lambert Simnel this theory unravels almost as quickly the unfortunate usurpation since simnel cakes are mentioned in literature a few centuries previous. The medieval Oxford philogist John de Garlandia posits that the name most likely derives from the Latin word 'simila' meaning fine, of course refering to the white flour used in the mix and possibly to the rich ingredients found in the recipe. Another legend surrounding the precocious pastry eaten on the Sunday of the Five Loaves suggests that the name came from a sister (Nell) and brother (Simon) who wanted to make a cake for their mother. One wanted to bake the cake, the other to boil it. They decided to do both and bring them together in one which became the Simnel Cake. Decisively dumping these meandering musings let us turn to that vivaciously virile vicar of Dean Prior in Devonshire, Robert Herrick, for the last word on this essentially ecclessiastical marvelous Matronalia:
I'll to thee a Simnell bring,
'Gainst thou go'st a-mothering,
So that when she blesses thee
Half that blessing thou'lt give me.


Mr. Screwtape

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Angeli et amici: In festo S. Casimiri Confessoris

Upon the vacancy of the throne of Saint Peter most members of the Roman Curia also temporarily lose their offices (technically more like a furlough) except, in virtue of the overriding pastoral care of Christ's flock and the precious patrimony of the Church, the Cardinal Camerlengo of the Holy Roman Church, the Cardinal Vicar for the Diocese of Rome, the Cardinal Vicar for Vatican City State, the Cardinal Major Penitentiary, and last but not least the Cardinal-in pecctore of the Secretly Clandestine Sacred Congregation of Indulgent Indulgences! So therefore.....
 
In light of the high regard in which We hold the Lithuanian and Polish nations and consequent diaspora, a modest modifying mitigation of the the Lenten discipline is granted the esteemed readership of these e-pistles upon the fourth day of March, feast day of the pious prince Kazimierz to pleasantly partake of generous helpings of piquant kielbasa.
 
Additionally all are encouraged to attend a Kaziuko muge, a traditional motley street fair that includes mostly hand made goods from local craftsmen, such as apparel, knitted clothes, footwear, toys, utensils, metal craftings, souvenirs, paintings, as well as foodstuffs, mainly rye bread, bagels, honey cookies, meat and diary products, natural honey, beer and kvas (a fermented beverage made from black or regular rye bread). "Palm" bouquets (called "verbos" from Verbų sekmadienis) are one of the fair's specialties. Made of colourful dried flowers and herbs, they are taken to churches on Palm Sunday. The shape of the "palms" resembles a lily, which symbolize the virginity, innocence, and purity of St. Casimir. Another typical product of the fair is called "muginukas", an often heart-shaped honey cookie, decorated with colored sugar flowers, zig-zags, dots and birds. Popular men’s and women’s names are written on the cookies which people buy and give to selected loved ones. But since a short side trip to Vilnius is probably out of the question for most and the precious church on Broome Street near Varick that was built in 1909 by an enclave of Lithuanian longshoremen and their families (who lived in the area in one family homes before the construction of the Holland Tunnel unfortunately uprooted them) has since been canonically closed we simply share a reliable recipe for the scrumptious muginukas:
1 cup honey
3 eggs
3 tbsps. sugar
3 tbsp. cream
4 oz. butter
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 tsp. cloves
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
2 cups flour
Cream eggs with sugar, pour in honey, melted (cooled) butter, spices and cream. Blend well. Mix the flour with baking soda and the baking powder, stir into the other ingredients. Knead dough until it does not stick to hands anymore. Cover and refrigerate about half hour. Roll out on floured surface; cut out hearts with a cookie cutter or make your own pattern (especially if you want to make big hearts). Bake at 350 until golden brown (about 10-15 min.). Decorate after the cookie cools completely.
 
Then discharge the divine duty to devoutly devour the delightful delicacy!
 
Mr. Screwtape

Friday, March 1, 2013

Angeli et amici: Apostolica Sedes Vacans

The Piña colada owes its jolly genesis to my beloved ancestral homeland, the "Emerald Isle of the Caribbean", La Isla del Encanto, la ultima colonia de los Estados Unidos! (sorry, silly survival of socialism sympathy during my sophomore year of high school), Puerto Rico. While some tall tales trace it back to the legendary Robin Hood-esque pirate of Austrian descent from the coastal town of Cabo Rojo, Roberto Cofresí its true origins lie in the Twentieth Century. Our story takes place on August 16, 1954 at the Caribe Hilton’s Beachcomber Bar in San Juan, Puerto Rico and is protagonized by one of its employees, its alleged creator, Ramón "Monchito" Marrero. Apparently, the hotel management had expressly requested Monchito to mix a new marquee drink that would delight the demanding palates of its star-studded clientele. Monchito accepted the challenge, and after three intense months of blending, shaking and experimenting, the first piña colada was born. This story is apparently credible (so sayeth my sources) because the piña colada contains coconut cream as one of the primary ingredients, and the coconut cream of "Coco Lopez" (which is the primary pioneer) was invented in 1954 in the University of Puerto Rico by Ramón López Irizarry. This story is confirmed by José L. Díaz De Villegas in his book published by La Editorial de la Universidad de Puerto Rico entitled appropriately enough: "Puerto Rico La Gran Cocina Del Caribe".
 
In addition to the gorgeous goblet which is it sublime signature, its appropriately appealing accessory is that unabashedly ubiquitous little umbrella. Oh! You're absolutely correct, that before taking another sumptuous sip we should recite this little prayer: O Lord, with suppliant humility, we entreat Thee, that in Thy boundless mercy Thou wouldst grant the most Holy Roman Church a pontiff, who by his zeal for us, may be pleasing to Thee, and by his good government may be ever honored by Thy people for the glory of Thy name. Through Our Lord Jesus Christ, Thy Son who with Thee livest and reignest world without end. Amen.

Mr. Screwtape

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Angeli et amici: In Dominica I Adventus

Once upon a time this ridiculous redactor meandered over to a particularly pious and potent parish that is silently situated on a simple side street in the nice neighborhood that is the surviving successor to Kleindeutschland. As it was the Lord's Day one simply situated oneself in a back pew like a good practicing cradle Catholic and assiduously assisted at the august Sacrifice of the Mass. After the final hymn one stealthily slithered into the sacristy to chat with the reverend rector of said parish (who at one time was a minister in an ecclesial community that was founded by a renegade Augustinian monk). One cutely complimented..."Sensational Sermon! Catholic Content" (and then lowering one's voice an octave) "Lutheran Length....."

The most famous Lutheran convert in the Catholic Church today is a pious piece of pyrotechnics succinctly summarized forthwith by the admirably astute Austrian Jesuit Father Francis X. Weiser: "The Advent wreath originated a few hundred years ago among the Lutheran population in Eastern Germany. It seems to have been suggested by one of the many light symbols which were used in folklore at the end of November and beginning of December. At that season of the year our pre-Christian forefathers began to celebrate the month of Yule (December) with the burning of lights and fires. The Christians in medieval times kept many of these light and fire symbols alive but Christianized them. In the sixteenth century somebody conceived the fortunate inspiration of using such lights as a religious symbol of Advent in the houses of the Faithful. The practice quickly spread and was soon accepted among Catholics and Protestants alike. The Advent wreath is exactly what the word implies, a wreath of evergreens, made in various sizes. It is either suspended from the ceiling or placed on a table, usually in front of the family shrine. Fastened to the wreath are four candles (3 purple, 1 pink) standing upright, at equal distances. These candles represent the four weeks of Advent and the four thousand years from Adam to Christ. Daily at certain times, (usually in the evening), the family gathers for a short exercise of prayer. Every Sunday of Advent one more candle is lit until all four candles shed their cheerful light to announce the approaching birthday of the Lord. Before the prayer starts, all other lights are extinguished in the room, and only the gentle glow of the live candles illuminates the darkness."

Of course to complete the toasty Teuton typology one heartily recommends the entertaining elixir Eierlikör (German Egg Nog) 
Ingredients: 10 egg yolks; 1/4 liter water; 300 grams sugar; 1/4 liter cognac/brandy; a vanilla bean; 50 ccm of 90% spirits (alcohol).
Directions: Let the sugar and water dissolve, then cool. Beat the egg yolks into the sugar solution until creamy. Add the vanilla bean. Gradually beat in the cognac and spirits. Pour into nice bottles (using a strainer). Serve within a week as Eierlikör does not keep long.

Then you'll be able to flawlessly flatter family with: "Wir wünschen ein gesegnetes Adventszeit und Weihnachten"!

Okay, maybe not so flawlessly.
  
Mr. Screwtape

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Angeli et amici: In festis S. Birgittae Viduae

Many people are quite familiar with the diminutive devotional paperback prayer pamphlet with the pious picture of Michelangelo's Pieta which leads off with the (sometimes simultaneously) inspirational and infamous Magnificent Fifteen Prayers of Saint Bridget of Sweden. Of course any contentious controversy can be quietly and quickly definitively dispelled by flipping open a convenient copy of the Acta Apostolicae Sedis and looking up the following Monitum from the Congregation of the Holy Office: In aliquibus locis divulgatum est opusculum quoddam, cui titulus "SECRETUM FELICITATIS - Quindecim orationes a Domino S. Birgittae in ecclesia S. Pauli, Romae, revelatae", Niceae ad Varum (et alibi), variis linguis editum. Cum vero in eodem libello asseratur S. Birgittae quasdam promissiones a Deo fuisse factas, de quarum origine supernaturali nullo modo constat, caveant Ordinarii locorum ne licentiam concedant edendi vel denuo impremendi opuscula vel scripta quae praedictas promissiones continent. Datum Romae, ex Aedibus S. Officii, die 28 Ianuarii 1954.
In some places, a certain little work has been disseminated called the "Secret of Happiness: 15 Prayers Revealed by the Lord to St. Bridget in the Church of St. Paul at Rome", published at Nice and various other places in several languages. Since it is asserted in this pamphlet that God made to St. Bridget certain promises, whose supernatural origin in no way stands up, let local ordinaries take care not to grant permission for publishing or reprinting pamphlets or other writings which contain these aforementioned promises. Given at Rome, from the offices of the Holy Office, 28 , January 1954. 

All this rabid research sure gives one a holy hankering for some satisfying snacking.

The Order of the Most Holy Savior founded in the year 1370 by St. Birgitta of Sweden, which keeps (along with the Extraordinary Form) the eighth of October as the feast of the Mother Foundress on the anniversary of her 1391 canonization by Pope Boniface IX, follows a style of life that is monastic, according to the Rule of St. Augustine, and given to prayer, contemplation and withdrawal from the mainstream of the activities of society. The life of a Brigittine Monk has its strength in the spirit of the intimate union with Christ through the daily prayers which the community offers for itself and for all mankind, especially for the unity of all Christians. Following an ancient Brigittine tradition, the community also carries on a continual crusade of prayer for the souls in purgatory and the conversion of sinners. The Community attempts to be self supporting by work done at the monastery and not engaging in types of work that may not be done within the enclosure. 


In the Monastery located in the lush Willamette Valley in Oregon, the monks quietly go about producing some of the most delicious candy in the world. They blend the finest quality ingredients including real chocolate, fresh dairy butter, real cream, the freshest nuts, and real flavors. Their Gourmet Confections have received hundreds of accolades from candy experts and customers alike. Numerous journalistic outlets, including the ABC Nightly News, CNN, Town and Country Magazine, Bon Appetit, People magazine, US News and World Report, Chocolatier, and The New York Times have featured their candy.

So remember to save me a Chocolate Amaretto Royale Truffle when you order from: The Brigittine Monks - Priory of Our Lady of Consolation 23300 Walker Lane Amity, Oregon 97101  (fudge@brigittine.org).


And here you thought I was going to expostulate on Swedish meatballs! 


Mr. Screwtape