Angeli et amici: In festo SS. Apostolorum Petri et Pauli

Jumpin Juno! The most popular month for the solemnization of matrimony is still, after many millenia, the one named after the goddess of marriage, the original Bridezilla, the suffering spouse of jolly Jupiter himself, the aforementioned Juno. And crowning with laurels the termination of the month is the fabulous feast of the famed founders of the city of Rome. Romulus and Remus have long ago taken a back seat to the pious princes of the celestial Senate, Saints Peter and Paul. 

So great is the dignity of this feast that in the Code of Canon Law (which, by the way, makes excellent bedtime reading) it is listed as one of the ten days, in addition to all Sundays of the year, wherein the Faithful by their assistance at the holy sacrifice of the Mass and abstaining from unnecessary servile duties are bound to sanctify. Within the prerogatives of the bishops of a nation assembled in conference is that of derogating the precept due to particular local circumstances such as the missionary status of said country. Anglophone Catholics should take happy heart though that Merry Old England, one time bastion of Henry's schism and Bess' persecution, has since the restoration of the hierarchy kept the feast of Ss. Peter and Paul as a holy day of obligation perhaps especially as a sign of filial devotion to the Pope of Rome. 

Returning to the nuptial imagery with which this e-pistle began, mindful of the commission of her sweet Spouse, Holy Mother Church, the Mystical Bride of Christ, on this feast enriches her children with a gift from her divine dowry. To the Faithful who use objects of piety blessed by the Sovereign Pontiff, or any bishop, provided they also make a profession of faith according to any legitimate formula, a plenary indulgence (which is the remission before God of temporal punishment for sins whose guilt is already forgiven) is granted under the usual conditions. Of course this would be an excellent opportunity to review what exactly is meant by that phrase "usual conditions". One must be baptized  and not excommunicated, have the general intention to gain indulgences (cf. the Morning Offering), be in the state of grace (at least at the moment one finishes the work prescribed), be detached from venial sin, go to Holy Communion and Confession within eight days of the work, and on the day the work is performed recite some vocal prayers (a Credo, Pater, Ave and Gloria Patri suffice) for the intentions of the Holy Father which classic manuals of moral theology list as the exaltation of the Church, the extirpation of heresy, the propagation of the Faith, the conversion of sinners, and peace between Christian nations. This reminds one of the beloved British bridal rhyme "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a silver sixpence in her shoe." Of course the most famous pence of all is Peter's Pence, the collection revived and formalized in 1871 by Pope Blessed Pius IX taken each year on the Sunday closest to 29 June, for the philanthropic purposes of the Successor of the Prince of the Apostles to which every member of the Faithful flock, following the elementary example of the Fisherman who paid the temple tax by catching a tasty tilapia that carried a coin in its mouth, should consciously contribute. 

Since no solemnization of nuptials, be they celestial or terrestrial, would be complete without some cheery conviviality we turn one last time to the United Kingdom. "St. Peter’s Brewery is based at St. Peter South Elmham, near Bungay in Suffolk. The brewery itself was built in 1996 and is housed in an attractive range of traditional former agricultural buildings adjacent to St. Peter’s Hall. [Once upon a terrible time recusant reserve - ye esteemed Editor] Siting the brewery at St. Peter’s was ideal because of the excellent water quality from our own deep bore-hole. Locally malted barley is used, together with Kentish hops, to produce a range of classical English cask-conditioned ales. In addition the company produces a range of superb bottled beers." 

Which calls for an appropriately awe-inspired altiloquent toast: "Quo vadis?"

Mr. Screwtape

Angeli et amici: In Vigilia Nativitate S. Joannis Baptistae

The liturgical feast occurring on the ancient astronomical summer solstice is a wonderful meditation on the virtue of humility. The traditional Roman Ritual provides for a Blessing of a Bonfire on the Vigil of the Nativity of the Precursor (but incomprehensibly omits rubrics concerning jumping over said bonfire). From a commentary on the Ritual by the incomparable Father Weller: "The blessing of a bonfire may seem somewhat extraordinary. Nevertheless, the ceremony is one of the most ancient blessings, just as the cult of the Baptist is very ancient in Catholic hagiolatry. For centuries people of Christian countries have kept a solemn vigil for the festival of John the Baptist's birth. In the darkness of the night preceding the feast, a bonfire would flare up before the church edifice, in the market-place, on hill,or in valley. John gave testimony of the true light which shineth in the darkness. He was the light-bearer before Christ, although he proclaimed in utter humility and self-abnegation: "he must increase, but I must decrease" (John 3:30). But the Master also spoke in highest praise of His Precursor: "I say to you, among those born of women there is not a greater prophet than John the Baptist" (Luke 7:28). Attuned to the mind of the Master, early Christians quickly cultivated with enthusiasm a special veneration of this saint — their enthusiasm and love enkindling within them a justifiable conviviality at the approach of his day. The custom of the St. John bonfires, indicative of a people with burning and childlike faith, continues in some places to this day." So simply skipping over its jolly genesis as a pagan party inebriatingly inaugurating the aestival season let us review the beautiful benediction:

P: Our help is in the name of the Lord. R: Who made heaven and earth.

P: The Lord be with you. R: And with your spirit.

Let us pray. Lord God, almighty Father, the light that never fails and the source of all light, sanctify + this new fire, and grant that after the darkness of this life we may come unsullied to you who are light eternal; through Christ our Lord. R: Amen.

The fire is sprinkled with holy water; after which the clergy and the people sing the following hymn:

1. Ut queant laxis resonáre fibris Mira gestórum fámuli tuórum, Solve pollúti lábii reátum, Sancte Joánnes. 2. Núntius celso véniens Olýmpo Te patri magnum fore nascitúrum, Nomen, et vitae sériem geréndae Ordinae promit. 3. Ille promíssi dúbius supérni, Pérdidit promptae módulos loquélae: Sed reformásti genitus perémptae Organa vocis. 4. Ventris obstrúso récubans cubíli Sénseras Regem thálamo manéntem: Hinc parens nati méritis utérque Abdita pandit. 5. Sit decus Patri, genitaéque Proli et tibi, compare utriúsque virtus, Spíritus semper, Deus unus, omni Témporis aevo. Amen.

1. O for your spirit, holy John, to chasten Lips sin-polluted, fettered tongues to loosen; So by your children might your deeds of wonder Meetly be chanted. 2. Lo! a swift herald, from the skies descending, Bears to your father promise of your greatness; How he shall name you, what your future story, Duly revealing. 3. Scarcely believing message so transcendent, Him for a season power of speech forsaketh, Till, at your wondrous birth, again returneth, Voice to the voiceless. 4. You, in your mother's womb all darkly cradled, Knew your great Monarch, biding in His chamber, Whence the two parents, through their offspring's merits, Mysteries uttered. 5. Praise to the Father, to the Son begotten, And to the Spirit, equal power possessing, One God whose glory, through the lapse of ages, Ever resounding. Amen.

P: There was a man sent from God. R: Whose name was John.

Let us pray. God, who by reason of the birth of blessed John have made this day praiseworthy, give your people the grace of spiritual joy, and keep the hearts of your faithful fixed on the way that leads to everlasting salvation; through Christ our Lord. R: Amen.

When one attempted to fulfill the fun folklore the sardonic summary would be a clever alliteration of the colloquial form of my baptismal name and the colloquial form of a soft section of one's anatomy, that is "Manny fried his fanny."

I told you the feast taught humility especially when one becomes the butt of one's own jokes!

Mr. Screwtape

Angeli et amici: In festo S. Aloisii Gonzagae Confessoris

One day Monsignor was visiting one of his parishioners, and, asking about her teenage son, discovered that she was worried about what career he would choose. The priest said he could tell by a simple test. He put on the coffee table a Bible, a wallet, and a bottle of scotch.

"If he chooses the Bible," the priest told her, "that's a sign he's destined for the priesthood. If he chooses the wallet, he's called to be a banker. And if he chooses the bottle of scotch, he's bound to become a Bowery bum."

The teenager came in and the priest told him he could have any object on the table. The boy picked up all three.

"Oh no!" the priest exclaimed. "He's going to be a Jesuit!"

The first day of summer presents itself as optimally suited for musing upon the mystery of vocation. Personally profound, indeed indelibly etched deeply upon one's memory as if chiseled into granite , was one's meditation difficultly discerning the true voice of the Divinity above a confusing and crushing cacophony that occurred on the feast of Saint Aloysius Gonzaga. Saint Aloysius, as we recount from approved sources, was the eldest son of Ferdinand Gonzaga, Marquis of Castiglione, and was born on the 9th of March, 1568. The first words he pronounced were the holy names of Jesus and Mary. In liege service to Philip II of Spain (after whom a vary tasty brandy is named after, by the way) his father destined little Louie  for the military. At the age of five, Aloysius was sent to a military camp to get started on his career. His father was pleased to see his son marching around camp at the head of a platoon of soldiers. His mother was less pleased with the vocabulary he picked up there. At the age of 8, he was sent to receive further education and serve at the court of the Grand Duke Francesco I de' Medici. While there, he fell ill with a disease of the kidneys, which was to trouble him throughout his life. While he was ill, he took the opportunity to read about the saints and to spend much of his time in prayer. When he was nine years of age he made a vow of perpetual virginity, and by a special grace was always exempted from temptations against purity. A few years later he received his First Communion at the hands of Saint Charles Borromeo. At an early age, even though he had been appointed a Page in the Spanish Court (pass the bottle of Felipe Segundo, please) he resolved to leave the world, and in a vision was directed by our Blessed Lady to join the Society of Jesus. The Saint’s mother rejoiced on learning his determination to become a religious, but his father for three years refused his consent. At length Saint Aloysius obtained permission and entered the novitiate on Saint Catherine's Day, 1585. He pronounced his vows after two years, and studied, as was customary, philosophy and theology (Philip was by this time preoccupied with a little problem with Merry Ole England which is basically irrelevant to this story except as an excuse for another sip of brandy). A fervent penitent at all times, Aloysius was accustomed to say that he doubted whether without penance grace could continue to make headway against nature, which, when not afflicted and chastised, tends gradually to relapse into its unredeemed state, and thereby loses the habit of suffering. “I am a crooked piece of iron,” he said, “and have come into religion to be made straight by the hammer of mortification and penance.” During his last year of theology a pernicious plague broke out in Rome. The saintly scholastic offered himself for the service of the sick, and was accepted for the dangerous duty. Several of the religious contracted the frightful fever, and Aloysius was among them. He was at the point of death but recovered, only to relapse a little later into a slow fever, which after three months his fragile health could no longer resist. He died at the age of twenty-three, after receiving the sweet consolations of the Last Rites from the hands of Saint Robert Bellarmine,  repeating the Holy Name of Jesus, a little after midnight between the 20th and 21st of June, on the octave day of Corpus Christi. During the Roaring Twenties Pope Pius XI declared Aloysius Gonzaga the celestial patron of all Christian youth.

Therefore we make our own the words of the liturgical collect supposing that most have not maintained his innocence,yet we may imitate his penance.

Guess one should also give back that bottle of scotch.....

Mr. Screwtape

Angeli et amici: Sanctissimi Cordis Domini Nostri Jesu Christi

In the collect of the Mass for the feast of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus we pray:  "O God, Who in the Heart of Your Son, wounded by our sins, mercifully lavish upon us the infinite riches of love, grant, we beseech You, that as we offer Him the faithful service of our devotion, we may also show forth fitting reparation." In that spirit a precariously pious little altar boy penned a pithy poetic prayer.

 

A Soliloquy Before a Sanctuary Lamp

Closed are my eyes, joined are my hands

Listening for the beating of the Sacred Heart

Faith seeking understanding

Returning love for Love 

Kneeling before the silent tabernacle

Devotion burning like a sanctuary lamp

Belief in the Real Presence brings me here

Though I may nod during my vigil

Comforted by the Divine Prisoner

Returning love for Love 

Kneeling before the silent tabernacle

Devotion burning like a sanctuary lamp

In the quiet I hear my name, like a sunbeam through the rain

Human comforts are naught; human frailty abounds

But in the taberacle Thou art there to ease the pain

Never permit me to be separated from Thee.

 

Mr. Screwtape
You're waiting for the punch line, that's right.

Here it is: The preceding piety was inspired not by neither Aquinas nor Alacoque but rather by Susanna Hoffs and The Bangles.

 

That yardstick ruler is getting a little too close for comfort....

Angeli et amici: Mulierem fortem quis inveniet?

Holy Mother Church reserves this lection from the thirty first chapter of the Proverbs of Solomon to be chanted during the Nocturns of the Office of Matins of Sainted Matrons. 

"Who shall find a valiant woman? far and from the uttermost coasts is the price of her. The heart of her husband trusteth in her, and he shall have no need of spoils.  She will render him good, and not evil, all the days of her life. She hath sought wool and flax, and hath wrought by the counsel of her hands. She is like the merchant' s ship, she bringeth her bread from afar. And she hath risen in the night, and given a prey to her household, and victuals to her maidens. She hath considered a field, and bought it: with the fruit of her hands she hath planted a vineyard. She hath girded her loins with strength, and hath strengthened her arm.  She hath tasted and seen that her traffic is good: her lamp shall not be put out in the night. She hath put out her hand to strong things, and her fingers have taken hold of the spindle. She hath opened her hand to the needy, and stretched out her hands to the poor. She shall not fear for her house in the cold of snow: for all her domestics are clothed with double garments. She hath made for herself clothing of tapestry: fine linen, and purple is her covering. Her husband is honourable in the gates, when he sitteth among the senators of the land. She made fine linen, and sold it, and delivered a girdle to the Chanaanite merchant. Strength and beauty are her clothing, and she shall laugh in the latter day.She hath opened her mouth to wisdom, and the law of clemency is on her tongue. She hath looked well to the paths of her house, and hath not eaten her bread idle. Her children rose up, and called her blessed: her husband, and he praised her. Many daughters have gathered together riches: thou hast surpassed them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: the woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands: and let her works praise her in the gates."

Not to mention that it would be amazingly appropriate for the civil celebration kept on the second Sunday of May. Happy Mother's Day!

Mr. Screwtape

Angeli et amici: In Ascensione Domini

The Society of Saint Hugh of Cluny, once upon a fictional time, in order to raise funds for their worthy apostolic endeavors raffled off a brand new Lexus. Stu and Jill really wanted to win so they decided to ask some revered priests to pray a novena. The Benedictine monk said: "Ut In Omnibus Glorificetur Dei! Yes, my children, I will gladly pray a novena. But please tell me what is a Lexus?". The Franciscan friar said: "Pax et bonum! Sure I'll pray a novena but what's this Lexus thing?" The Jesuit priest said: "Wow! Lexus. What a great car! But what's a novena?"

The primordial, prototypical and primary Novena in the Catholic Church is the one begun on the Friday after Ascension Thursday addressed to the Third Person of the Blessed Trinity preparatory for the great feast of Pentecost which throughout the centuries has been richly indulgenced by the Sovereign Pontiffs and is recounted in the first chapter of the Acts of the Apostles.  A favored formulary that may be fortuitously followed follows: 

First Day: Almighty and eternal God, Who hast vouchsafed to regenerate us by water and the Holy Ghost, and hast given us forgiveness of all our sins, vouchsafe to send forth from heaven upon us Thy sevenfold Spirit, the Spirit of Wisdom and Understanding, the Spirit of Counsel and Fortitude, the Spirit of Knowledge and Piety, and fill us with the Spirit of Holy Fear. Amen. Recite one Our Father, one Hail Mary, and seven Glory Be's

Second Day: Come, O blessed Spirit of Holy Fear, penetrate my inmost heart, that I may set Thee, my Lord and God, before my face forever; help me to shun all things that can offend Thee, and make me worthy to appear before the pure eyes of Thy Divine Majesty in heaven, where Thou livest and reignest in the unity of the ever Blessed Trinity, God world without end. Amen. Recite one Our Father, one Hail Mary, and seven Glory Be's

Third Day: Come, O Blessed Spirit of Piety, possess my heart. Enkindle therein such a love for God, that I may find satisfaction only in His service, and for His sake lovingly submit to all legitimate authority. Amen. Recite one Our Father, one Hail Mary, and seven Glory Be's

Fourth Day: Come, O Blessed Spirit of Fortitude, uphold my soul in times of trouble and adversity, sustain my efforts after holiness, strengthen my weakness, give me courage against all the assaults of my enemies, that I may never be overcome and separated from Thee, my God and greatest Good. Amen. Recite one Our Father, one Hail Mary, and seven Glory Be's

Fifth Day: Come, O Blessed Spirit of Knowledge, and grant that I may perceive the will of the Father; show me the nothingness of earthly things, that I may realize their vanity and use them only for Thy glory and my own salvation, looking ever beyond them to Thee, and Thy eternal rewards. Amen. Recite one Our Father, one Hail Mary, and seven Glory Be's

Sixth Day: Come, O Spirit of Understanding, and enlighten our minds, that we may know and believe all the mysteries of salvation; and may merit at last to see the eternal light in Thy light; and in the light of glory to have a clear vision of Thee and the Father and the Son. Amen. Recite one Our Father, one Hail Mary, and seven Glory Be's

Seventh Day: Come, O Spirit of Counsel, help and guide me in all my ways, that I may always do Thy holy will. Incline my heart to that which is good; turn it away from all that is evil, and direct me by the straight path of Thy commandments to that goal of eternal life for which I long. Amen. Recite one Our Father, one Hail Mary, and seven Glory Be's

Eighth Day: Come, O Spirit of Wisdom, and reveal to my soul the mysteries of heavenly things, their exceeding greatness, power and beauty. Teach me to love them above and beyond all passing joys and satisfactions of the earth. Help me to attain them and possess them for ever. Amen. Recite one Our Father, one Hail Mary, and seven Glory Be's

Ninth Day: Come, O Divine Spirit, fill my heart with Thy heavenly fruits, Thy charity, joy, peace, patience, benignity, goodness, faith, mildness, and temperance, that I may never weary in the service of God, but by continued faithful submission to Thy inspiration, may merit to be united eternally with Thee in the love of the Father and the Son. Amen. Recite one Our Father, one Hail Mary, and seven Glory Be's

In the Cenacle the Apostolic College, singularly and sacredly selected by the Second Person of the Blessed Trinity, was marvelously maternally ministered to by the Mother of God who thereby earned the sublime dignity Queen of the Apostles, which is liturgically celebrated on the Saturday within the Octave of the Ascension. A range of Religious ranks  practice devotion to Our Blessed Lady under the title Regina Apostolorum, including the Pallotines, the Marianists, and particularly the branches of the Pauline Family founded by Blessed James Alberione viz., the religious congregations of the Society of St. Paul, the Daughters of St. Paul, the Pious Disciples of the Divine Master, the Sisters of Jesus Good Shepherd, and the Sisters of Mary Queen of Apostles; the secular institutes of Jesus Priest, Saint Gabriel Archangel, Our Lady's Annunciation, and Holy Family; and last but not least the Union of Pauline Cooperators. An altogether appropriate appeal authored by Alberione appears appended:  "Hail, Mary, our Mother, Teacher and Queen. In your goodness, listen to the petition which we present to you according to the will of Jesus: "Pray, therefore, the Lord of the harvest to send forth laborers into his harvest." Turn your merciful eyes upon the five billion people living on this earth. Many of them are wandering in darkness without a father, a shepherd, a teacher. God made you an apostle to give Jesus, Way and Truth and Life, to the world. By having recourse to you, they will find the road that leads to Jesus. Through you may all Catholics work with all their strength for all vocations, for all apostolates! Through you, may all the faithful work for all unbelievers, all the fervent for all the indifferent, all the Catholics for all non-Catholics. Through you, may all those called correspond, may all apostles be holy, may they be welcomed by all men and women. At the foot of the cross, your heart expanded to welcome us all as your children. Obtain for us an apostolic heart, modeled after your heart, the hearts of Jesus and St. Paul, so that one day you may have us all, apostles and faithful, around you in heaven. Bless your spiritual son and daughters, Mary, Teacher and Queen."

Preparing this package of potent imprecations reminds one that it is customary for the Faithful on Ascension Thursday, in commemoration of the summit of the Mount of Olives from which the Only Begotten forty days after His Resurrection returned to the First Person of the Blessed Trinity, to climb a hilltop for a picnic and enjoy some scrumptious sort of fine feathered friend at the holy day repast for upon this day unto Heaven Christ "flew"!  

Mr. Screwtape

Angeli et amici: In Tempus Rogationibus

In a lamentably lost hallowed halcyon age before the scurrilous scourge of invading immigrants known as yuppies, the noble neighborhoods of the fabulous Five Boroughs were, ofttimes intrepidly indeed in spite of the infernal interfering inconveniences of the Master Builder,  divinely defined by the blessed boundaries of its parish church.

The Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday preceding Ascension Thursday form a special triduum known as the Rogation Days wherein the Faithful are commanded to fast and the Litany of the Saints is chanted "to ask God's mercy, appease His anger, avert His chastisements manifest through natural disasters, and ask for His blessings, particularly with regard to farming, gardening, and other agricultural pursuits."

The marvelously merry medieval English had a quaint custom on these days known as beating the bounds.  "In former times when maps were rare it was usual to make a formal perambulation of the parish boundaries during Rogation Week. Knowledge of the limits of each parish needed to be handed down so that such matters as liability to contribute to the repair of the church building, and the right to be buried within the churchyard were not disputed. The priest of the parish with the churchwardens and the parochial officials headed a crowd of boys who, armed with green boughs, usually birch or willow, beat the parish boundary markers with them. Sometimes the boys were themselves whipped or even violently bumped on the boundary-stones to make them remember. The object of taking boys along is supposed to ensure that witnesses to the boundaries should survive as long as possible since sometimes boundary markers would be moved, or lines obscured, therefore a folk memory of the true extent of the parish was necessary to maintain integrity of borders by embedding [seems like sometimes, literally!-Editor] knowledge in oral traditions.  Village and parish were coterminous." 

Upon the conclusion of the the pious perambulation the return to the placid precincts of the parsonry would feature the obligating opportunity for the church wardens to raise revenue by hospitably hosting the mirthful merriment known as the parish-ale!

Mr. Screwtape