Angeli et amici: In festo S. Raphaelis Archangeli

A long time ago, in an eparchy far, far away (well, across the East River anyway) one noticed an insignificant incident. After Dominical Divine Liturgy it was customary to have coffee and cake in the parish hall. It was time for cleanup and one of the curates began custodial duties. Then it happened! Not exactly sure what happened but something happened. One was to far away to hear distinctly but the image was indelibly etched. Apparently he was doing something wrong (could have been not separating recyclables) and the little old ladies of the parish were all over him proffering correction. 

So a tantalizingly true theophany came a-tinkling: "When a man enters the priesthood he doesn't give up the opportunity to have a wife....he gets the whole holy hen coop!"

Three, two, one.....

Now that I've safely ducked a few flying frying pans let me get to the point of this e-pistle. Often this little altar boy is sought out as a thesaurus theological trivia. Not a few delightfully dashing distaff and devout damsels some moons back piously petitioned this annoyingly alliterative acolyte to reveal who among the blessed in the celestial court would be the most potent intercessor before the terrible throne of the Trinity in the weighty matter of the sacred selection of a spouse. So that got me a-thinking and a-praying.

Thus the religious result was Mister Screwtape's Official Holy Hunny Discernment Novena! (*Imprimatur pending)

Therefore if anyone, whether devoutly discerning or pious proxy, desires to pray the miracle-working Novena (there are at least three marriages that can be credited to it, but that's a story for another day) just drop an e-mail to: mr.screwtape1011@yahoo.com 

Mr. Screwtape